Art Is Hard

Poor Jessie. That is a sad and lonely feeling. I think one of the hardest things about any art is that it is usually entirely self-motivated. No one else really gives a shit if you press on through or decide to give it all up. It only really matters to you, and that has to be enough.

But sometimes it is not. It is so important to feel that we are being appreciated, validated. Not necessarily the art itself, but a recognition of the difficulty of what we are attempting, the effort involved, and the fear and vulnerability that go hand in hand with the creation of something entirely new and completely personal.

And it stinks. To feel like, after two years of hard effort and a high level of personal and emotional involvement, you really are just another student to them. To you, it has been life-changing. It has been a deep and meaningful journey of self-discovery and awareness. To them, you are another paper to be gotten through. (Although, I must admit, one would necessarily expect a higher level of involvement and respect, for chrissakes, for a thesis proposal). That's a little slap in the face, especially when you have really put yourself into your work, instead of taking the easy way out (which you could have done).

So, girl, here’s what I say: Screw the bastards. If they’re so caught up in the intricacies of administration and bureaucracy that they start treating students like numbers and forgetting that the most important thing a teacher can do for a student is be involved in the relationship, they don’t deserve your best effort. Reserve that for yourself alone. You deserve your best effort, your writing does, and your art does. It is the fact that you are so involved in your work that makes it great, and will make you a great teacher as well. Maybe you’re in love with your work (which is only right, for an artist and teacher). And we all know, love hurts.